How to Deal: When Your Partner Says ‘I Need Space’

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Taking full responsibility and raising him on my own is life changing. Unfortunately, this is still an option.

Im guessing she is getting scared about getting attached knowing she has to go back home in a year. You can download my book here. I hurt her badly and she broken up with me.

How to Deal: When Your Partner Says ‘I Need Space’

Okay so I have been dating her since New Years. We claimed that we loved each other around May and April time. She is a nursing student, 20, who has troubles with her education and also thinking for herself. Around summertime she brings up the fact that she needs to find something that makes her proud, do things for herself. At this time too, we've been seeing each other so much things got black and white. I know she loved me, but things had no spark. Around this time too, she was going through some back and forth mental issues, where she couldn't decide what she wanted, but me being the person who really loved her, kept telling her to just push, i pressured her, asked her for every minute of her time. She mentioned that for the past two months it was only me that fought for the relationship. The first time we broke up, she called me right back afterwards, and said she regreted it. I noticed when there were times our schedule wouldn't work out, she would miss me as soon as I was gone, but in this situation I don't know how to start? I called her the day after the break up, apologizing, that i should of given her more space and all, it only made things worse I believe, because she started crying. I forgot to mention though but she also mentioned that she wanted to be friends for now but she really liked me still, she just didn't know where we belonged. So I am thinking she broke up with me for these reasons: -School, shes in nursing school, my romance was overwhelming her. That she most likely still cares, but just lost interest. My ex, even mentioned, I like you a lot I just don't know where we belong. Is it because I've made it too easy for her? She lost interest in what she used to see in me? The bold and strong person, instead of dependent and needy? Please help, I think I am going to do the no contact thing and make her miss me, but what is the right approach? Do i tell her later on, that I don't need the relationship I just don't want to lose her, that I like her and that i am willing to wait, and or change my approach on her? I asked her if she would ever miss me when I am gone right after the break up before she started crying and she said of course. Listen man ill be honest with you man to man, you are acting insecure. THe one thing that is a huge turnoff for women is a man who is weak and clingy. I was depressed at first and thats normal because You love her very much but also you need to be a man and learn how to manage without her. True love always finds its way back you cannot force it. If she needs space give it to her and more. Trust me, if you really love her , let her go. I am a 26 year old dad with a 5 year old son. My girlfriend, 24, of 9 years said she needed time apart and abandoned us. Taking full responsibility and raising him on my own is life changing. It breaks my heart whenever he asks where his mom went or why. The depression I deal with everyday is unbearable. How do I cope with all of this? I would have to agree with this post. I like to think women like men who are driven and well rounded, you need to be one of those men. Wow,you literally described my situation right now with my girlfriend,and we dated 4 years also and I been searching on what to do cause she said she needs space and bro. Thanks I'm glad I'm not the only one and what you just said is the same thing my friends have told me, to just worry about me right now cause sooner or later we will get back together. This really helped me alot. Question: I am in the same situation other than I did not show her the emotion and affection she deserved. She says she still loves me and cares deeply for me but this is whats best for now. She is not committing to anything or anyone and taking time for herself to have fun and make herself happy. We are still sorting out money and apartment stuff. I have told her how i felt and we have talked for about a week afterward and I was weak and insecure about everything. Asking her to come back and why she left. Do I still have a shot of getting her back? She sounds confused but it's hard to say for sure. If she did lose interest, it's probably not because of anything you did or didn't do. So don't be so quick to blame yourself. Sometimes in relationships people have unrealistic expectations. Whatever it is, this is her issue. Give her some space and carry on with your life. Sooner or later she will realise you're worth it or not. I am just wanting to know if she is coming back or not. That is what is eating me up more than anything right now is not knowing. I love this girl with all my heart, but was not showing it. Now that she is gone, I love her more than ever and just wish she would come back and atleast try and work things out. I started dating her when she was 16 and felt like I had to look out after her as we were growing up together. Now I know that trying to be cautious and protecting her was not what I should have been doing. I should have been wanting to experience good and bad decisions that she had with her and learn with her. Not try to control what she did and giving her my advice and making her second guess her thoughts and choices all the time. I'm going through it to mate its harsh, because like you I just want to know there is light at the end off the tunnel after our space from each other and I want to know we will rekindle what we had. But she's very guarded and won't give anything away. It's my fault though I've been insecure and clingy and also said some bad things when I've been drunk so I've driven her to this decision. Now I'm trying to do my own thing like getting fit and giving up the booze and general self improvement, hopefully she will give me another chance. I'm really glad I found this too. It's been about 6 weeks now. She was messaging me daily still when it first happened and sometimes we talked about things sometimes just shared funny pictures etc Now it's basically stopped and although I've been playing the part of giving her distance she has said I've been great through this I'm also scared now that she'll officially move on we'll lose everything.. If she doesn't want you back, what are you fighting to get her back for? You want her to feel guilty and come back, then eventually break up again? She needs to come back to you on her own, if that's what she wants. If that's not what she wants, then why are you trying to force someone you really care about to do what she doesn't want to do? It seems clear to me that you need to just continue to wait and stay committed to cutting 100% of communication or come to the conclusion that this is not right for you, and move on. Remember this is what SHE SAID SHE WANTED Great job with keeping the distance. Thats the hardest thing to do. One of the most important things you can do is improve yourself and think less. Women can sense desperation. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU LOSE IT!... This girl probably knows you well, she can probably tell your thoughts or feelings with just a micro expression. You will win her back, or she will come back to you until you start feeling better with yourself, until you are a better you, until she can see that. I have to say I'm so pleased with the responses and how people genuinely want to help out. For some reason it does help knowing other people are going through the same. Definitely appreciate the comments and response. It's been a week since I posted that and already starting to feel a bit better. Still times that are hard but much better overall. Thanks again for the support. In the meantime, stay in prayer pray for yourself, her, the both of you, and tell God your desires, but ask for God's will to be done and work on bettering you. Seek activities you can do to get your mind off things. Make new friend or hang out more with friends you have now. Either way, do you and give her the space. If she comes back, she was yours and if not... God has something better. I'm not sure about you, but I want what God has for me because it will be 10 times greater than what you or I could ever imagine. In the meantime reach for your bible and read Isaiah 43:18-19, Luke 18:27, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalm 71:20, Colossians 3:23, Mark 9:23, and Psalm 46:10. These bible verses continuously help me! Hi, so I took my gf away this weekend for a romantic Valentine's wknd. I planned it since December. The activities I had planned was suprises. Concert one night and comedy show the next nt. I thought the concert sat nt and the comedy show sun nt would distract her from the pain. But when we got to the venues both nights she was complaining about the pain so we went back to the hotel. She told me that I didn't show enough pity for her pain this past weekend and it is a major red flag that she might break up with me Bc of that. She said that I took her to both places then I decided to take her back to the hotel room. Well I thought the excitement of going to an event would make her feel better. So since Monday she has wanted to time to think alone. She said I disappointed her. We have a family trip with my daughters and her daughter planned for the wknd. I texted her last night to say what's up for the trip and she hasn't texted me back. Have to tell you the truth here. There will play you, confuse you and manipulate you and make it seem like it's all your fault, this is why we get desperate at times. They have no idea it is us men with the bigger hearts in the end. If a girl asks for some space, or she thinks your crowding her now or not giving her room to breath, DO NOT BE MANIPULATED AND FALL FOR THEIR TRICKS, WE ALL HAVE UNFORTUNATELY FALLEN TO THIS INCLUDING ME. If they want space do not show that you care, Simply tell them ok, seeya. Cut off all relationship, contacts, buying them gifts or even calling them to say happy birthday. Or if she says let's be friends, be careful of that, do not be her puppy. Think about it, if a girl tells you let's be friends and you say ok.. That means she will go out seeing other guys and you will have to sit there drooling like a puppy while the other guy does to her what you used to do and there is nothing you can do about it but be a loyal puppy. Are you for real man? In the end, you must be the man and keep moving forward and advancing with your life. What happens to them is not your concern anymore, in most cases they will not find any better than you anyways but they will be too afraid to contact you again as they still feel not good enough for you and that is true in most cases. If they do contact you and want to patch things up, you will be an idiot for taking her back because trust me you will end up in the same situation. We are MEN FFS.. This is what life is all about in the end, to keep moving forward. Cmon, women saying that they need space and only want to be friends with you is a complete slap in the face, take it like a man turn around and never look back. The pain will be there for a week, assuming you don't contact her. Then after a week your as good as being reborn! Make sure NOT to make contact.. Not even a hi how are you. DON'T BE HER PUPPY.. Wow, seems as if i am not the only one with the same issue. I did the same mistake, trying to pull her back to the relationship, and it had a reverse effect. I talked to my psychiatrist; He said u gotta let her go, give her the space she is looking for, leave a chance of 1% for having her back, and if she comes back, u gotta see if u want her back in your life or not. MAN UP, it's hard, but u gotta do what u gotta do. The more you go for her, the less she comes for you. Hi All, I originally posted this almost a year ago now. After a lot of back and forth with this girl most of it very frustrating were now both with other people. I actually gave her about a year to come back and nothing really ever happened, although we came close a couple times. I've now realized it was for the best. Although it was a very difficult year these things take time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and things do get a lot easier.

Unfortunately, this is still an option. You can and will get through this time. She has ended your relationship. Whatever the case, your best bet is still to just listen to what she says and hope that it all custodes out for the best. That is what you need to fix and giving her space will NOT fix that. A woman wants to be able to relax into your masculine direction, rather than having to carry you at times or most of the time.